Ode to Grape-Nuts

by Michael Janssen

Your name has no basis in reality.
I see no nuts! I see no grapes!
Possessing the consistency of gravel,
you're all about the same shape.

You get lodged in between my teeth.
You wreak havoc with my bowels.
You taste like shit when there's no sugar,
but it's for you my stomach growls.

Your taste improves with sliced-up fruit.
I chew you and my jaw gets sore.
You're good for breakfast, lunch or dinner.
I'll eat 'til I can't eat no more.

Sit too long, mush you become,
soaking up all milk in sight.
Silt-like sludge inside my bowl,
you form a rather soggy plight.

Your roots are based in Taoist ways.
Lao-Tzu would be your biggest fan!
You're the yin and milk is yang.
You bring together woman and man!

So when the milk seeps into you,
you're fertilized, becoming soft.
Two elements assimilate,
setting enlightenment aloft!

Your union is a cosmic force,
so eating you is much like Zen.
Why should people meditate?
They need a grape-nuts regimen!

A source of bran for girls and boys,
but educational too.
Eat your Grape-Nuts and you'll see
Nirvana is open to you!